remember when’s week… two pink lines

Today’s first remember: Remember when we found out we were pregnant!

On Thursday, February 4th, 2010 we took our very first pregnancy test. The box said to wait 3-5 minutes for results. So, I peed on the stick and then we went and did a few things to get ready. When came back to check on the test a few minutes later, but to our dismay there was only one pink line… a big negative. And so we continued getting ready for work. A few minutes later when I went back into the bathroom I noticed a second faint pink line so I called Derick back in and sure enough, he saw it too! But the box said not to look at the test once 10 minutes had past because it could show false results. Aahh! Had it been 10 minutes?? Well over. Were we pregnant?? We had no idea! We had failed at taken our first ever pregnancy test.

So we decided to wait a few days to take a second test. So on Sunday, February 7th we tried again. So I peed on the stick and Derick left the bathroom to go do something… not sure what, doesn’t matter. He figured he had 3-5 minutes to wait like last time. But, no. As soon as I looked at the stick, there they were, two pink lines!! We were pregnant! We were ecstatic and we couldn’t stop smiling.

Seriously, we couldn’t stop smiling. The curve just took over our faces. We realized we couldn’t go to any Superbowl parties with these big smiles on our faces. Everyone would immediately know we were pregnant! So we went out a date to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate.

Today’s second remember: Remember when we found out we were pregnant with Baby Z #2!!!

It’s true. I’m not lying. We’re having another baby!!

I found out that a friend of mine is pregnant with her second baby. She and I were pregnant at the same time with our first babies. The same day I found out she was pregnant I fell asleep on the couch for the third day in a row. I told Husband, “I’m sorry I’ve been napping so much lately. I’ve just been so tired.” To which he replied, “Maybe you’re pregnant, too!” And we laughed! And then we dismissed the thought.

In May, I had surgery to remove half of my thyroid. This of course has affected my thyroid levels and a main symptom of this can be fatigue so I figured my tiredness was most likely caused by this. Also, since my surgery, my neck and back have been extremely sore due to the position that they put you in during the surgery. In general, my body has just been feeling a bit out of sorts due to my whole thyroid situation.

But as the week went on, I started thinking about husband’s comment… and I started thinking about my out-of-sort-ness– tiredness, sore/tight back, and I had had a few very emotional days. I had only had one period since I was pregnant… a second still had not come which figured was common as your body and hormones are still getting back to normal, besides, I was still breastfeeding. But then, I started to get a little picky about my food and this I thought was weird! And then I thought, “maybe I am pregnant”… but still it was more of a funny, unlikely thought.

I let a few more days pass in which time my food pickiness was getting worse! I finally told husband “I’ve got to take a pregnancy test because either I am pregnant or I am convincing myself that I am.” So that night we went to the dollar store and picked up three pregnancy tests for $3.

The next day, I took the test, and within seconds two pink lines! I couldn’t believe it. I decided I better take another test in case the dollar store test was faulty and once again… two pink lines almost immediately. We took a third test just for the certainty. And why not? It was a dollar and needed to be used.

So there it is friends. We are having another baby! Baby Z 2. Or as some of our friends have said, “the Z-quel!” We are due in late April/early May. We are very excited and this week of remembering meeting Baby Hutch and looking at photos makes us even more excited!

We are very excited for Hutch to be a big brother. He already loves “baby”! : )

remember when’s week… hello baby hutch

Remember when baby Hutch was born?!

Today is Hutch’s first birthday. It is amazing how fast time flies and yet it’s almost hard to remember life without our little boy. It has been a wonderful year watching our little guy grow and change and develop his fun, sweet little personality. We have loved every fun, cuddly, exhausting, frustrating, sweet moment of this past year and we look forward to many, many more.

I can’t help but think of what we were going through last year on this day and of our very first look at our son. I haven’t written out my labor and delivery story yet. I have intended to do so, but once Hutch came along I just never found the time… imagine that. So, I’m finally going to write it and share it, more for husband’s and my benefit than for anything else. I know I’ve already forgotten so many aspects of the day… but it’s fresher now than it will be tomorrow.

My labor started late in the evening on Sunday, October 24th. I started having some strong contractions sometime after dinner… maybe between 7:30 and 8:30 pm. By 9:30, they were fairly strong and regular at 9 minutes apart… and my contraction had sent my dinner back up. At around 10:30, husband and I went to bed to try to get some sleep, but that didn’t last long as my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I also started having back labor, which meant derick was having to massage my back with every single contraction… exhausting for both of us.

I don’t remember too many details from this time until we left for the hospital, but our goal was to labor at home for as long as possible. After we realized that we weren’t going to get much sleep in our bed, we went into the living room and lit the fire. Between contractions, I remember sitting in front of the fire, looking into its glow, while sitting on my big excercise ball. This is a nice, warm and fun memory. I also remember leaning against the wall or kneeling on my hands and knees with each contraction so that Derick could rub my convulsing back! Not as fun of a memory.

By around 6 am-ish, my contractions were at about 4-1-1… 4 minutes apart with each contraction lasting at least a minute, for just about an hour. So we called the doctor and they said to come on in. So Derick started gathering all our last minute stuff to take it to the car… at which point, my contractions decided to get even closer together. So Derick would run around the house and down to the car as fast as possible, knowing that in a minute or two he would need to be back to rub my back for each contraction. I can tell you, neither of us were looking forward to that car ride to the hospital… but we just prayed that my contractions would ease up for the drive… and thankfully, I only had one mild one on the way to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital just before 7… the same time those who are being induced arrive. We waited for and rode the elevator with one of those couples… it was clearly evident who was being induced and who wasn’t! They were clean and dressed nice, her hair was done, they had their nice compact wheelie luggage bags and their pillows, and they were just patiently waiting. And there we were, frantic to get upstairs, me breathing all heavy, leaning on a wall of the elevator with Derick massaging my back, just trying not to fall over. Definitely a funny picture to look back on!

I remember arriving in the maternity center and being very cheerfully greeted by all of the nurses. “It’s baby day!” It was definitely fun waddling in to such a happy greeting. By 7:30 am, we were admitted and checked and I was dilated to 6. We felt pretty good about that. We didn’t feel great about the fact that as soon as we got to my room and they put the monitor on me to check the baby I started throwing up again. Unfortunately there wasn’t a lot to throw up so my body was just convulsing making me feel awful! And apparently the baby wasn’t a fan of this either, because his heart rate dropped really low. Because of this, they wanted to continue to monitor him which meant I was stuck by the bed connected to all kinds of wires.

But within a few hours, I had dilated to 8 cm and things were seemingly progressing fairly quickly. My water still hadn’t broken but they kept saying it looked like it was about to. Shortly there after I dilated to 9… and here is where things start to get fuzzy and where they slowed down dramatically. At some point they broke my water, hoping that would get things moving again… it didn’t help other than that my contractions starting lasting even longer. I was at 9 cm for around three and half or more hours. All the while, Derick was faithfully rubbing my back and the front of my legs… ask him how hard it is to rub both at the same time! My contractions stopped having breaks between them and if they did it was for maybe 10 seconds. The intensity would get a little less, but it never dropped off… so we weren’t getting any rest breaks. So by this time, Derick’s own back was killing him from bending over so much, and he had hardly eaten anything and I’m sure was starting to lose his energy. And then there was me. We were definitely exhausted!

The nurses suggested that a number of times that an epidural might give us some breaks and relax me just enough to get me to dilate to 10. So after about 4 hours of being dilated to 9 and after 8 hours of being in the hospital, I got the epidural around 3:40 pm. I was annoyed to have gotten this far only to get it when I was at 9 cm! Are you kidding me?! But Derick was completely exhausted and needed a break, and I was almost willing to do anything if it meant helping get this baby out.

The epidural did help slightly… it got me to 9.5 cm pretty quickly. The doctor said he might be willing to let me push at 9.5… but the baby was turned in the posterior position. This was the likely cause of my back labor and most likely the main reason why I wasn’t dilating. So the doctor tried turning him multiple times, but he wouldn’t budge. He said he either wanted me to fully dilate or for the baby to turn before I could push.

So I sat at 9.5 cm without any progress for another 2 hours. Then, at around 5:30, they administered pitocin to try to get me to dilate to 10. Still nothing for another hour or so. The doctor started suggesting a c-section… I asked if he could try turning the baby again so he tried… but no luck. Shortly thereafter, the baby’s heart rate started dropping again… from about 140 down to 70. This was very concerning to them. They said if this continued, I would definitely need a c-section. So, Derick and I sat watching the monitor, praying with each contraction that baby z’s heart rate would hold steady!

At 7:30 pm, the doctor came in to check on things. The next thing I knew I was being prepped for a c-section. I asked the doctor if he could check me again and check the baby again when we got to the operating room and if I dilated and the baby turned, I asked if I could still try to push on my own. He didn’t look very hopeful, but said maybe and that he would check.

So as they continued to prep me and wheel me to the operating room I closed my eyes, tried to relax as much as possible, tried to just breathe, and I prayed, prayed, prayed that I would dilate and that the baby would turn. When we got to the OR they sent Derick out of the room as they continued prepping me. My eyes were exhausted and I couldn’t get them open. I really wanted to rub them but due to the medication they gave me for the surgery, I couln’t move my arms. They felt like limp noodles. I asked them if Derick could please come back in and while one of the nurses went out to get him, the doctor checked me one last time. And can you believe it? I had dilated and the baby had turned!! So the doctor told me I could push on my own.

Derick came to my side still thinking we were having a c-section. I asked him if he could rub my eyes and help me open them. I told him I couldn’t move my arms or open my eyes… I had no idea how I was supposed to push when I couldn’t feel any part of my body. And he was like, “What? Push?! You get to push?!” And with the coaching and help of my husband, the doctor and the nurses, I pushed and pushed with each contraction right there on the operating table. And about 45 minutes later at 8:44 pm our baby arrived… A boy! 8 lbs. 4 oz. 20 in. long

My first time holding our baby and my first look at my baby boy’s beautiful face.

Our first two family photos.

Dad’s first time holding his boy. They sure are having quite the sweet bonding moment.

Just loving my boy… Oh, sweet boy!

October 25, 2010 was a hard and exhausting day filled with many emotions. And although it didn’t go exactly as I had hoped with a very near c-section, I was very satisfied with and thankful for my labor and birth experience. I was very thankful for the doctors willingness and patience to check me and let me push once I was in the OR… I don’t imagine most doctors would do this. The whole labor and delivery process was a major exercise in patience and communication for Derick and I as I, in my major pain, tried to kindly tell him what I needed and how he could help and he tried to patiently and quickly respond to my incoherent half-sentences as best he could. I felt closer to him and more in love with him this day and in the days following than I ever had before. And the day ended with us holding the most precious little gift we could ever imagine. How could we not be satisfied and thankful!

We love you Hutch Wilder Zeulner! Happy Birthday little man.

We thank God for you every day!

remember when’s week… a year ago in text messages

A text conversation between Derick and his dad one year ago…

And for  a full and complete version of the story… check this out… Welcome Baby Hutch.

remember when’s week… big belly!

Remember when my belly looked like it was going to pop?

One year ago today, there was a big baby in my belly. We didn’t know if that baby was a boy or a girl. We didn’t know when we would finally get to meet that little one, but we were very anxious to do so. That baby was already in my belly a whole week past it’s “due date.” My belly was big.

One year ago, it was a beautiful sunny day so we went and had breakfast on the beach at Thousand Steps Beach in Laguna with my sister. My sister came down three days before my due date for the birth… eleven days was as long as she could stay before she had to be back to work, so this was her last day. Sister, Husband and I had already walked about a thousand miles that week trying to get the little one out… we were hoping that maybe the thousand steps down and back up would do it! And if not, at least we could enjoy the beach. And we did. The weather was perfect. The water was beautiful. And we saw dolphins which always makes for a fun beach experience.

I’m not exactly sure how we spent the rest of our day one year ago, but I do know we spent some time looking up ways of getting labor started and we tried at least one of the fun ones. Later that evening we went out to dinner with Derick’s parent as well as his brother, Ryan, and our sister-in-law, Jenn, who was also pregnant and I believe due that day. We had been told that if I ate italian food, I would go into labor… guess what, we ate at an italian restaurant. Sidenote: You wouldn’t believe the silly, crazy things that people tell you to do to start labor. Pretty much whatever they did the day they went into labor is the key. Anyway by this time, I was starting to feel pretty discouraged and I was sad that my sister had to leave before the baby was born and I was so sick of hearing “Has the baby come yet?” Obviously not. Do you see my belly?! In my sadness, I’m pretty sure I just ate and ate and ate… way too much.

But something we did that day one year ago worked! Or maybe it was just that the baby was finally ready! But around 7:30 or 8 pm I started to have some contractions that felt very different from the Braxton-Hicks that I had been feeling for days. My sister was about 8 hours away, still driving home.

One year ago today, I started labor. One year ago, my body was experiencing some crazy contracting. One year ago, we were experiencing the first of many sleepless nights. One year ago, we were so excited to know that we would be meeting our baby soon!

the things i don’t always love about hutch

The messes he makes. The food on the floor seems constant. And as soon as I put one set of messy toys or kitchen items away… I turn around and he’s made two more big messes!

The way he will fish hook my lip with his wild little hands while he is nursing. And if I haven’t cut his nails in the past few days… then I get an extra hook. Not fun! But I think we’ve just about broken that annoying habit.

How fast his nails grow.

How often he has stinky diapers… I think he had four today. I’m glad he has a healthy functioning digestive system, but we don’t love the smell or having to change him.

The silent cry/yell. When he’s really, really sad, he’ll start into this silent cry where you can see in his face that he is crying but no sound is coming out. C’mon little man, just breathe!

budget baby series: breastfeeding

It’s budget baby time! And to get right into it, my first and foremost frugal tip is this… breastfeed your baby!

Why is this my top suggestion for saving money? Because it’s free! And formula is expensive. I’m not even sure how much formula is, but everyone I know who uses it complains about the cost. And, I know that its starting price can’t be very low when I receive coupons for “$5 off one can of formula” in the mail.

Benefits

Cost. Again, It’s free! Awesome.

Convenient. There is already so much to have to pack when you go on an outing with a baby. It’s really nice to not have to worry about adding bottles of formula to that already heavy diaper bag.

Health. There are so many health benefits for baby and for mom! There are books on it! I won’t write my own.

Bonding. It’s a really amazing thing to feed your baby this way. It means you get to cuddle with them many times throughout the day… so special. And it is beyond words to watch your baby suck and know that all of his nutrition and his growth is being provided by you!

Weight loss. I was amazed at how quickly I was back to my pre-prego weight. That is a really nice benefit of breastfeeding! Unfortunately, I’m still not back to my pre-prego body. But I’m pretty sure that is a benefit of working out… more often than I have been!

Challenges

Supply. It seems like supply is the biggest deterrent to breastfeeding. Some women just never quite produce enough milk to keep up with their baby’s needs. I am so thankful to say that I’ve always had enough. However, in the beginning, I had an over-supply… and this didn’t thrill Hutch’s immature little sucker. Way too much milk would come way too fast and he would get so mad at me… which made me so sad and led to some tears for the both of us! But, this is just something that is remedied with time. Hutch learned to suck a little better and my body figured out that it could slow down a bit. In those first weeks, it was a common sight to see what husband and I called the “milk-splosion.”

Feeding in public. This over-supply and milk-splosion definitely made it really hard to breastfeed very discreetly in public those first few weeks. Plus, the baby isn’t very good at latching yet. But once those things settled, it got a little easier. But then came curious, distracted, wiggly Hutch who refuses to keep the cover or blanket over him when there is anyone else around.

Fashion. While it’s a lot of fun to dress your baby bump all cute during pregnancy, I know that I looked forward to being able to wear my regular clothes again. Little did I know that a lot of them would have to remain sidelined for a while. I love to wear dresses. But most of my dresses are breastfeeding un-friendly. I can’t pull the front down enough, and hiking the whole thing up is just awkward for everyone involved. But, it’s gotten easier now that Hutch can go longer without needing to eat.

Pumping & Hospitalization. I had thyroid surgery when Hutch was six months old and this was by far my biggest breastfeeding challenge. Due to medications and such, the doctors didn’t want me to breastfeed for 48 hours. So the weeks leading up to the surgery I pumped, and pumped, and pumped. And then in order to keep up my supply, I had to continue to pump (& dump) every few hours in the hospital. I remember my hospital roommate being very annoyed by the sound of the pump… but the nurse just told her it was a monitoring machine. Oh, and by the way, my nurse was a younger guy… that’s not awkward to have him walk in on you pumping! Needless to say, I’ve just about had my fill of pumping. I try to do it here and there just to have an emergency stash… but without the necessity, I’m a bit of a slacker. But I am very thankful to have had such a good pump!

These are just the challenges I encountered. I recognize that there are a lot more challenges to breastfeeding than these… some that prevent mothers from breastfeeding their babies. But for those who are able, breastfeeding really is wonderful. And for those just starting out, don’t let the challenges discourage you. So many people told me that it gets easier sometime after 4-6 weeks… be encouraged, this is true!

For those who made it this far, I hope that all of booby talk hasn’t been too much for you and I hope the photos haven’t offended you. For those who wish they hadn’t made it this far, feel free to stop reading now! : )

I will leave you with this: my very first breastfeeding moment. What a special gift God has given mothers… to add on to the very miracle of pregnancy and childbirth!

nine years ago…

DZ+RH. Early love at age 19. Photo taken December 2002.

I just wanted to put this out there… Derick became my boyfriend on October 17, 2002. That would be 9 years ago today.

I was so happy to be his girlfriend! I’m happier to be his wife! : )

Another thing… one year ago today was Hutch’s due date. We were maybe starting to get a little anxious to meet our baby!

Photo taken on October 15, 2010… 2 days before my due date.

 

we’re baaack!

 Are you ready for this? Dress, Boots, Earrings: all from Target! Maybe a little much… but I made my leather ring, at least!

It’s been so long since I’ve posted I’ve almost forgotten how. But we’re back and I’m ready to get back in this posting game!

For those who don’t know, my sister had her baby on October 7 and Hutch and I went up to visit a few days before the birth and stayed for a while after (more details and photos from our trip and the new baby to come). I took the computer up with me with plans to post at least a few times while I was there, but my sister’s new house didn’t have internet access so my plans were kinda foiled. I didn’t use the computer once while I was there… I kinda wish I wouldn’t have bothered lugging it up there. Oh well. Other than a few kinks in my neck from the heavy luggage… no harm done.

The trip was great and I’m so glad we were able to go, but being away from home with a baby and without a Dad is exhausting. Hutch and I are so very happy to be back home with Dad. We missed him a lot!

sweet and sleepy

Hutch has gotten four teeth this week and he is exhausted from it. He has been the sweetest, sleepiest little guy the past two days. Yesterday, he slept on me from 1-5 pm and then with dad until almost 6. And today, he slept on us for another hour or two. When he isn’t sleeping, he mostly just wants to rest and cuddle. We haven’t had this much cuddle time since he was a tiny little infant. We haven’t gotten much done, but we have gotten to rest which I think is just what we have been needing. It breaks my heart a little to see him so out of his element but it does my heart good to get so much sweet cuddle time.

Every once in a while, he gets some of his usual spunk back…

But mostly… he cuddles or sleeps…